Birds Hate Me

I have been pooped on 4 times in my life. There's an overpass that I had to walk under on my way to elementary school and a pigeon dropped one on my head. Side note: the poo in the overpass smelled like grapes and so I associate grapes and raisins with bird poo. I was hit in Middle School and High School as well. It's always on the way to school so that I could start the day with poop in my hair. There's another time as an adult.


Even if they don't hit me, they try. There have been multiple poops on the windshield on my side of the car. There are poops on the side window of the car where I sit. There were poops on my bedroom window. They keep trying.

There have been 2 more recent attacks. I took my parents to Brookside Gardens and there was a particularly raucous goose barking at anyone in the Japanese garden area. When we passed it, it was chasing and biting another goose so we just thought it was protecting it's space from other geese. My mother and I posed on the small wooden bridge and just before my dad snapped the picture, the goose dive bombed us and dropped a poo 3 inches from us into the water. That was the scariest attack - especially since the poo would've been very large.

Last Saturday morning, I was driving to drop the car off at the mechanic and as I turned out of my street, I heard a loud plop on the windshield. A bird had dropped a huge worm right at my head. It was squirming and sliming up the glass.

It'll be interesting to see how many more attacks I can log.