Lump - Chapter 10

[in progress]

I asked Dr. H to take pictures of what she took out (turns out it was a hardened cyst). M wouldn't let me post the photos but I think they're interesting. I'm a bit weak but all in all, in good shape. The worst was the IV so aside from some bruising - I'm doing fine.

Lump - Chapter 9

My surgery is on Monday. It's supposed to take about a half hour with a half hour before to put me to sleep and then an hour in the recovery room. M will then whisk us back to DC. I have a confession to make. But, let me back up for a minute.

H asked me how I felt about the surgery and to be honest, I think that I have a slight case of Münchausen syndrome. I really like being in the hospital. I had a cyst removed from my neck when I was 5 or 6 and I loved being there. I had a TV, a craftmatic bed, and all the popsicles and dixie cup ice cream I could eat (they were trying to soothe my throat). The nurses were so nice and people brought presents when they visited me. Folks at the hospital were equally attentive when I had to get stitches on my wrist, finger and foot (separate incidents). I like seeing the doctor, I like going to specialists (except for the mammogram - that sucked). I had a swell time at Memorial Sloan-Kettering.

So, now that I know I'm not going to die and M will be there to take care of me. I'm feeling pretty good about my surgery on Monday (except that the anesthesia might make me nauseous and that is going to go so well in the car). Can't wait to get a nice ice pop!

Mom says she liked the hospital as well. When she was there after giving birth to Dr. Do and Philly, she said it was so great and relaxing to not do anything, watch tv and not deal with children.

Et Tu, Green Tea?

Green tea has 15 milligrams of caffeine. Regular drip coffee has 115-175 and Red Bull has 80. I've enjoyed a morning green tea at work for the taste, nice warm comforting feeling and health benefits.

But, wow. I got off the green tea train and got hit by a 16 wheeler over and over again for 4 days. Really? My itty bitty cup of green tea could do that to a person? W confirmed it and said, "You're really sensitive." Basically, I can't handle my drinks and this is the first morning I hadn't felt like putting a pen through my temples.

Lump - Chapter 8

Honestly, while my medical experiences have been relatively smooth, there's always been a bit of chaos, stress, confusion and sometimes downright nastiness. The team at Memorial Sloan-Kettering have been nothing but thoughtful, pleasant, efficient, and organized. They are better than a pit crew at NASCAR! The facilities are comfortable, clean and nice. There are lockers and cute seersucker robes! There are light snacks and beverages and INTERNET! I'm blogging from the waiting room!

I can't thank S enough for telling me about Dr. H and for calling her on my behalf. I received a phone call to confirm the appointment and another to pre-register. Although I arrived late this morning (again, I just can't get out of the house at a decent time), they were understanding and got me all the paperwork I needed to fill out right away. The registration person came out to get me in minutes and in another few minutes, my friend D (who so kindly came to the appointment with me) and I were meeting with Dr. H's nurse (who had the same name as my previous manager!) who asked some questions and walked us through some things.

Dr. H was unbelievably cheerful, went over everything and was so great. Dr. H thinks it is a fibroadenoma, which is what I thought it was (see Lump - Chapter 1). Dr. H even said, "You should work here!" There was no other nodule and the tissue is normally dense for thin women. They made an ultrasound appointment for me at 1:30 PM which allowed me to meet W for a super delicious lunch. The radiologist said that she saw the mass and recommended that I get it removed. After my ultrasound, I walked down the hall and saw Dr. H and the nurse again. They went over my options, explained everything, gave me paperwork, answered all my questions and whisked me back out to make my pre-surgical, surgery and follow-up appointments.

They were able to fit me in for pre-surgical this afternoon, the surgery for the day after Mother's Day so M could take me, and the follow-up for the day after little bro's graduation. Dr. H will call me with the pathology results 8 days after the removal (limited resection) so we know exactly what it is. I mean, could it be more convenient? Everything done in one day and everything else done when I'll be in Jersey anyway. I am totally impressed and am so glad to be able to trust my care to them. Much thanks to all who have been so supportive.

Lump - Chapter 7

I will be meeting Dr. H this morning at 10:30 AM. D will meet me there and I am really thankful she can come with me. I packed my mammogram films and ultrasound CD. I wrote down my history so that I don't miss anything when I talk to the doctor. I also googled questions to ask: http://health.discovery.com/centers/cancer/breast-cancer/questions.html

Here goes.

20+ Years of Pain

Firstly, I just want to get it out there that a canker sore is not herpes.

No one really knows what causes a canker sore (aka aphthous ulcer or mouth ulcer) but it affects about 10% of the population, occurs more frequently in women than men, and people who experience canker sores often report a family history (wikipedia).

I tend to get them after I'm under a lot of stress and/or about 10 days before my period. There are often more than 2 at a time, huge and unbelievably painful. Hence my high tolerance to pain. Sometimes I have them when I get my teeth cleaned and the hygienist will (1) tell me it is herpes (infuriating), (2) collect all the dentists to look and gasp. I apparently have the worst case of it that anyone has ever seen and at one point had 6-7 at the same time. Awful.

So, after years of suffering, H recommended Orabase (pictured above). The paste actually covers, protects and STAYS on the wound. Further, I am a fan of all things that end in "-caine" and this stuff has 20% which is much more than other products I've tried. This stuff has changed my life.

Lump - Chapter 6

My primary doctor has basically handed me off to the breast specialist. Thank goodness I have J who reviewed the reports, explained stuff to me and offered next steps. V was also all over that report and after all her googling, is quite the breast specialist. Basically, I have not 1 but 2 nodules in my right breast and the radiologist recommended that I get an MRI for "further evaluation to differentiate between benign versus malignant lesions." D said it was good they were asking for more tests vs them knowing for sure it was cancer.

I then googled to see if one's menstrual cycle affected the MRI results and per medscape.com, "The ideal time for MRI of the breast is approximately between day 5 and 15 of the menstrual cycle." This would be AFTER my appointment with Dr. H and that got me nervous because J wanted me to have all my test results ready for Dr. H. I called Sloan Kettering and the receptionist said not to worry, Dr. H would want to look at my films, make her own assessment of the MRI and have the MRI done at Sloan Kettering. Whew.

So, now I'm wondering if I should seek a second opinion, if insurance will cover that, and if I'd be able to move to DC in time to help watch my godson.

Lump - Chapter 5

Poor V got my text at 6:30 AM LA time, couldn't reach me, called and woke up her boyfriend who is a nurse and started getting information. She was on the phone with me last night racking her brain to find contacts to get me an appointment. God bless her.

D said that she told B and he said, "That's f-ng f-ed up!"

So, last night, J called and consulted with me. He said that I did not fit the profile for breast cancer and confirmed that I had been doing the right thing and that I did need to see a specialist. He said that a specialist could be a surgeon but at this point, it wasn't necessary to go to Sloan Kettering because we didn't know what I had.

S left me multiple messages and said that Dr. H at Sloan Kettering would fit me in (http://www.abcgonline.com/archive/2003/07_doc/index.htm). S also made me aware of Cancer Resource Services which works with my health insurance in covering treatments and gives me an oncology nurse to talk to.

I lay awake this morning feeling around and I swear I could feel more lumps everywhere. I'd freak out more except that I'm too exhausted. My face is totally puffy and tired.

Lump - Chapter 4

Finding a doctor is not easy. For one thing, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for. Do I need to see a specialist? Do I need to see a surgeon? Do I go to a radiologist and just get the biopsy? Normally, I go through NYMag's best doctors and cross check it against the doctors who take my insurance. There's no category for "breast specialist" or "breast surgeon". There's OB/GYN - which could be anything from STDs to having a baby and there's Surgery which could be anything from plastic surgery to removing gallstones. I'd be calling surgeons and their assistants would say that they don't handle breast surgery. I was getting nowhere.

I almost blew off this coffee meeting and thank goodness S came looking for me. It turns out that S and her mother both had breast issues and she had a breast surgeon at Memorial Sloan Kettering. The fact that Memorial Sloan Kettering is a CANCER CENTER really terrified me but as another friend put it, they would know what isn't cancer. The doctor there did not have any availabilities for a month but my friend would try and call her for me. It reminded me of the Sex and the City episodes where Samantha sat in the waiting room everyday.

I reached out to my Wellesley friend who worked at Memorial Sloan Kettering and she told me about a place that did needle and core biopsies.

Then my camp friend who's an OB/GYN referred me to a surgeon at Columbia - I called too late and will have to call tomorrow.

My cousin said her fiance who is an internal medicine doctor would be happy to consult so I will reach out to him later tonight.

Lastly, my doctor emailed back saying that she wanted me to see a specialist and the specialist would decide what biopsy to get. So I guess I'll be back on the phone trying to get an appointment with specialists tomorrow morning.

Everyone has been so great - offering great information, advice and support - even offering to go with me. I'm really blessed to have such a team on my side.

Lump - Chapter 3

Preliminary results are in - it is an 8 mm solid thing. I'm really not sure. Dr. Q gave me 4 breast doctors to see and get a biopsy.

Lump - Chapter 2

I saw Dr. Q this morning and got a script for a mammogram and ultrasound. She didn't say much about it except that the reason for the mammogram and ultrasound was that I had found a nodule (there are really 2). I tried to make an appointment at the first place she referred me to and they couldn't get me an appointment until 4/27!!!! I called Dr. Q back and got 2 more referrals - both in Chinatown. And wouldn't you know it, I was seen within the hour. Go Chinese!

Of course I was a little skeptical at how they could see me so quickly but (1) Dr. Q is always able to see me at the drop of a hat and (2) the lobby of the office was lined with NYMag best doctor awards - awesome! People in the lobby and on the television spoke loudly in Cantonese as I completed 3 forms - correcting the English in each one. I do the same thing on menus and really anything that has poor English.

I waited for less than 10 minutes and was taken inside for the mammogram. The technician was a young Asian woman who asked a lot of questions, put stickers on me and put me through the most painful exam ever. OMG. That was not fun at all.

From there, I went to the ultrasound room where the woman was like, "don't worry, I have those, too." I'm like, "What, nodules?" She meant breasts. The ultrasound was okay, if not messy.

And then I was done. Results will be sent to Dr. Q in 3-5 days. I hope this whole thing gets resolved quickly. I'm pretty sure it isn't cancer but am freaked out and scared. It makes me want to eat really healthy and take better care of myself. And I didn't cry except for when I listened to voicemails of people saying how everything is going to be okay and that they care.

Lump

So, I found a lump. It is similar to a lump I've had in my armpit for a few years. Dr. Do thinks it could be a swollen lymph node. It could also be some kind of cyst. It's fairly new because I've been checked within the past month or so. I think it is a Fibroadenoma (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibroadenoma).

I'm getting it checked out on Wednesday morning.

How Not to Conduct an Experiment

The illness that felled both my mother and then my sister finally took root in my sinuses. I had tried to fight it with daily Claritin (it's my "windex" and I stand by my panacea) and twice daily nasal and throat saline rinses. The pressure began to build up in my head so I added ibuprofen and zyrtec at night. I also bought Zicam nose gel and Robitussin DM. I felt like crap, my nose was runny and a lot of post nasal drip was taking up residence in my throat. I remembered that I had some Amoxicillin in my medicine box from a previous sinus infection. I dug it out and saw that it was for last year...but took them anyway (a quick Google search shows that I should not take old antibiotics - whoops).

So, I actually felt better today. Much less congested albeit a little fuzzy in the head and tired. I really don't know if it was the Claritin day/ Zyrtec night combo, the nasal and throat rinses, the nose gel and Robitussin, or the expired antibiotics. It could also be a calmer social schedule and more sleep at night.

I have the Flonase and V-Pack that my doctor prescribed today. While I'd like to know what did the trick, I guess I'll have to wait for the next bout of sinusitis to figure it out.

Dr. Weiner

[in progress]

Chairman of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation

GREAT! Told me exactly what I needed to know - that it will heal! It will heal on its own if I take it easy, do some exercises and stretching, put a warm patch and take 2 Advils before working out and put ice on afterwards. It will heal faster if I take some physical therapy. Really great doctor.

Further Cutbacks

While I should be talking about the tragic layoffs happening around the world, this post is really about more foods that I can't eat. As if the dairy wasn't restrictive enough.

My family and I have long suffered from mouth ulcers (aka aphthous ulcer, canker sore, aphthous stomatitis, Sutton's Disease) that can take more than a month to heal. It is unbelievably painful and interferes with one of my greatest pleasures in life - eating. I think I may have 5-6 of them for the past 2 weeks - 2 in the back of my throat, one under my tongue, one on the tongue, one on my gum and one on my lip (which thank goodness is healing because I was looking like a collagen injection gone terribly wrong and drooling). I had to put my head down on my desk and almost cried just trying to eat breakfast and dinner yesterday. I've been treating myself with ibuprofen and anbesol.

I think that the break out may have happened due to lack of sleep, stress, trauma to the mouth (I have TMJ), overindulgence in wine and acidic foods (e.g., tomatoes, grapefruit), and general immunodeficiency issues. I have cut out my daily half a grapefruit, cut out tomato-based foods (pasta sauce, tomato soups), and wine. I will have to hit the Duane Reade for toothpaste that doesn't have sodium lauryl sulfate and milk of magnesia to gargle with. And after a year of M and Doris suggesting, I will make an appointment with a GI specialist.

Doctor Doris

Dr. Q and I had a chat today and she doesn't think I have bacterial conjunctivitis. However, Dr. Doris says that I do and to just treat it with the eye drops Dr. Q prescribed. It's great to have a doctor in the house. I learn about her day, her patients and can ask her all kinds of questions.

She even got me Wendy's for dinner - burger, fries AND chicken nuggets.

Ok, Pink Eye

Yes, I have bacterial Conjunctivitis. Red, irritated eyes with yellow goop. I've been talking to people all day and no one has said, "wow, that's a big gross glob of goop in your eye." I was going to post a photo but M said that the photo would gross people out who are reading about food.

So, I have Tobramycin drops, am taking it easy and trying not to infect people, and wiping everything down with Clorox wipes. I had to cancel my recital. So sad.

Not Pink Eye But Something...

Ok, so Dr. Q said it wasn't pink eye but my eye has gotten redder, more irritated and goopier. GROSS.

Pink Eye?

What do you think? My eye was crusted over this morning and it was red and irritated all day. I asked my admin to look at it and she yelled out to the entire office, "A has PINK EYE!" I felt like a leper as I ran back to my cube. I couldn't stop thinking about the scene from Knocked Up where they gave each other pink eye from farting on each others' pillows.

At first I thought it was from my godson whose eyes have been a bit goopy but Doris yelled at me and said that was impossible. It could've also been my contact lens rinse solution that is supposed to neutralize but totally stung my eyes. Also, yesterday was the first time I wore mascara in awhile and so, I had to throw out the mascara and my contacts. I'm NOT throwing out my lash extensions...seriously, do I have to?

It seems to have cleared up a bit but I'm going to have my awesome doctor, Dr. Q, check it out tomorrow morning.

I'm Sick

I'm sure the germs were just waiting for me to post about not being sick before attacking. For a week, I've tried to poo-poo my cough as allergies. Did my Claritin and nasal rinse thing. Even twice a day saline gargle. But, my old friend sinusitus is back and I'm soooo annoyed. I think it might be the changing of seasons or the fact that I haven't had my soygurt for a month or so. Those probiotics are really powerful in fighting illness. I will call my awesome doctor and she will likely prescribe antibiotics. See, we've been through this many times before. At least, now I recognize it earlier and am not coughing for months.