It Ain't Easy Being a Ho

[Title is another M-ism.]

Only in New York can you go to not 1, not 2, but 9 adult stores in the course of an hour. I am hunting for shoes for my class and one would think that this would be an easy feat (feet, hahahaha), but no (note on shoes - in yoga, they say if you want to increase the difficulty of a pose, stand on your toes. Well, your butt, thighs and calves are so sore from working out in heels!). For one thing, while I've gotten more comfortable with places like Babeland, the places in Times Square that I've walked by hundreds of times on the way to the Port Authority Bus Terminal have always scared me. They seemed super sleazy and I'd chuckle and stare at the guys that went in and out. At first I wanted to find a friend to accompany in case I was attacked or abducted but I gathered some courage and went on my mission alone.

It wasn't so bad. The stores in Times Squares are the big box Adult stores. I mean the thousands of videos was overwhelming at first but I got passed the gauntlet of dirty images and made it up to the "costume" department. The store on 43rd-ish and 8th had the best shoe selection but the shoes lacked 1 or a combination of color (black - what is all this clear stuff?), ankle straps, chunky heel, size. I am an unbalanced and unstable girl. I cannot dance in stilettos or mules. The guy helping me was very nice. Actually, everyone at all the stores were very nice and helpful.

I then headed to the West Village. I was surprised that many of the stores were manned by Asians - possibly Koreans (but I'm terrible at guessing these things). The Pink Pussycat has a new owner. Anything on Christopher Street is really all male. The very gay guy at Pleasure Chest was the only one that offered other stores that might have shoes - like a costume store in Union Square! And the folks at Fantasy World were super sweet and helpful. I guess I was being my usual Type-A self - shoes have to be like this, shorts have to be like that. The lady goes to me, "So, did you just start dancing?" That was really interesting because I didn't say anything about dancing but I guess I was different from the other people who might be like, "OMG, my boyfriend/girlfriend are going to love this!"

In the end, I do not have shoes and may just buy a pair from class. I did however get 2 pairs of very cute ruffle boy shorts and black booty shorts. Yay!

Update: I did end up buying a pair of shoes in the comfort and security of class. And I washed the ruffle shorts and hung them outside to dry. Mom took down the laundry and was like, "What is this?!" Lordy.