"If emergency masks come down, grab the one dangling in front of you and put it on first. If your brain is starved of oxygen, you can pass out or get disoriented, in such a situation, you won't be able to help your child [or other passengers] get out of a plane."
It may sound selfish but you can't help others until you've helped yourself. There is a situation right now where two people feel like they have sacrificed for each other and it has bred regret (among a whole host of negative feelings). I have read that outside of meeting basic human needs, happiness comes from the ability to self-actualize. One key to that is to know yourself and know what you want. If a person feels like they can't be who they want to be, they could become angry, depressed, resentful, etc. Although it's easiest, there is no room for blame or fear here. Who are you? What do you want? How are you going to get there? For couples, do your paths coincide or divide? There is a certain amount of compromise but in the end, you need to feel like you are who you want to be.
It's very emotionally charged around me but post Negotiation class at b-school, I've felt very calm in these situations and resolving conflict has become formulaic. What is each parties interests, BATNA, reservation price [or objective], target price, sources of power and opening moves? Answer these questions with facts and without personal attacks. If things are heated, eat/ drink, rest and have a 24 hour cool down so that those chemicals (adrenaline, etc.) can get out of the bloodstream. What do you want? What do I want? How can we make a bigger pie so that we both get what we want (and hopefully, more).
Ok, I am bothered because negotiations only work when both parties know how to negotiate and communicate. I'm thinking these 2 people really need a mediator.
Update: things appear to be better
BATNA?? Really Amy?
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