5th Evacuation from the Office

This is New York City. You need to be able to live through disaster and still look fabulous for drinks.

This is my 5th evacuation from our building since we moved in 2006. I can't remember the order but... (1) A water pipe burst and we were ankle deep in water trying to get out of the lobby. M, don't worry, the water was clean. (2) Then the hotel up the street was on fire and filled the streets with black smoke. It was so crazy to see the smoke and flames cloud the windows and see the floor start to fill with smoke. (3) A steam pipe burst 3 floors above us and the foam ceiling panels got soaked and gross grey water started to pour from the ceiling onto my neighbors' desks. I had to get temporarily relocated so they could replace the carpet. (4) I was out picking up my Chinese take out and heard a huge explosion. People started to fill the streets. A column of smoke rose from the direction of Grand Central Station. I went back to the office but after 9/11, you are not keeping me in the building. I was so out and hit my lesbian bar for a drink. (5) Today, people started smelling gas and fire trucks pulled up to the building (what is the powder they were pouring on the street?). Security came on the loudspeakers saying that they were investigating but, again, I'm not trusting them with my life. I called C and said I could make dinner 30 min. earlier.

I'm so glad I'm on the 3rd floor 'cause I never know when I gotta jet.