What's in the Stars for 2009?

[in progress]

I kind of love horoscopes, Chinese superstition, all that crap. I don't read them religiously but sometimes, there are some good ones.

For example, from the June/ July 2007 issue of Go Magazine:
Cancer: Love is hard to find! You are looking, you want it badly but you find it eludes you. What you need to realize, dear Cancer, is that you are in love. Everybody is in love with you, everybody wants to be near you and hold your hand because you are so life affirming. And yes, there is a more solid, specific, one-to-one love waiting for you. It's just a problem of distance - plane ride anyone?

And C read her tarot cards in July 2007:
There are a good balance of numbers - beginning, middle, end. 1) signifies self: stuck in a mental struggle, once you are able to look at things differently, you will be free. 2) signifies atmosphere: the lovers, union, more mature view of relationships, lovers going after what they want in a more mature and balanced manner. 3) lessons learned at this point: clarity of vision. 4) Root, self-conscious: empress taking a well-deserved break, princess day, need to rejuvenate yourself, will help with creativity. 5) vertical: out of mental constraints, take time for yourself, pamper yourself. 6) recent past: the upside down chariot, not able to accomplish goals, disappointment, move forward even if things are out of your control. 7) 9 of cups tells you how you act in the world: desires are coming true, act as if you have everything that you want. 8)...

Fast forward to 1/2/09 issue of OK! Weekly:
Cancer [ugh, why put Ashley Tisdale?!]: Love - you're ready to bond deeply, whether walking down the aisle or cohabitating. Career - strategic partnerships are the key to career expansion for you in 2009. Joining forces will allow you to take on bigger projects. Jupiter helps you capitalize on the downturn in the housing market. Social Life - your friendships are going through a transition, don't cling to outworn alliances, saturn helps you rebuild your social networks this year.

Scorpio [Anne Hathaway in a hideous dress]: Love - your nesting instincts are fired up this year, giving you the urge to settle down with "the one". Moving to a new home with your honey will be on the agenda by May. Monitor your moodiness if you want your love affair to last. Expecting your partner to constantly cheer you up is a romantic buzz kill. Health - your active brain needs time to rest and go on autopilot. Since you won't have much time for running around, invest in a piece of home gym equipment, like an elliptical machine or treadmill. Turn on the music and zone out as you increase your energy level through exercise. Career - a makeover is in the works for your career. It's time to collaborate with other brilliant minds. You might write, blog or teach about a subject you've gained expertise in. You could make a name for yourself in 2009. Social Life: your circle of friends continues to reshape itself this year. Offbeat and freethinking types inspire you to let your own originality shine.